The ability to build your own home as part of the Hearthfire DLC has got us thinking about some of the worst places in Skyrim and what it would be like to live there.
Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you view things), you are only able to choose from 3 potential home locations in the Hearthfire DLC. These locations are all fairly pleasant if you overlook the odd bandit attack raiding party and incursions from the local Giants. However, if you were free to live anywhere in Skyrim, the following would probably be some of the worst.
5. Hag’s End
A bit like Bag End, without the greenery, pleasant Hobbit neighbors and free pipe-weed. No, probably nothing like Bag End then really. Hag’s End is a Nord ruin located in the mountains West of Dragon Bridge. It’s cold, bleak and populated by a number of Hagravens that are less than friendly.
Asking one of them to borrow a cup of sugar will likely be misinterpreted as an act of war, resulting in you being turned into something red and slimy, severely decreasing the resale value of your property.
Not only that, but the Schools in The Reach area have some of the lowest OFSTED scores in Tamriel. Dire.
4. High Hrothgar
Well, this is probably the highest point in Skyrim, so you can feel some reassurance that you won’t be submerged in the next 10 years as a result of Global Warming. However, it does make the weekly ‘big shop’ a bit of a pain in the arse to haul home.
Then there’s the neighbors. This is predominantly a senior community, inhabited by a group of wizened old men named The Greybeards. Unfortunately these chaps aren’t as quiet as they look, resulting in endless shouting matches using something called a Thu’um. These can often go on until the early hours and are prone to causing the occasional avalanche.
Oh, and there’s also a resident talking Dragon that you would probably need to slay before moving in.
3. The Ratway Warrens
Ok, this place is effectively a sewer, but it’s a rather secluded spot, perfect for the adventurer who enjoys time away from the prying eyes of the Thalmor agents. One small snag is that you have to share lodgings with a few characters that could probably be classed as being a few wedges short of a cheese wheel.
Hefid the Deaf and Salvianus are harmless really but have a tendency to gibber incomprehensibly. However Knjakr the Chef poses a serious risk. He lives at the top of the stairs and will attempt to lure you into his room with kind words. Once your in he whips out his axe and attempts to put the hurt on you screaming “Don’t run! Stay for dinner!”. He’s probably great with kids though…
A rather quaint little village with an excellent port for trading and one of the quietest pubs in Tamriel. Most people are put off by the nightmares though. It seems that all of Dawnstar’s inhabitants are not getting much sleep as a result of relentless nightmares night after night.
It seems these bad dreams are something to do with one of those Daedric Gods that probably don’t exist anymore. In fact I’m sure it will all be fine, and if it’s not, you can sell your bed and pocket the change. Every cloud eh?
1. Hjerim House
Ignore the blood stains on the floor, this house in sunny Windhelm used to belong to a, erm, Butcher. For some reason there is an odd feel about this property that I can’t quite put my finger on. Maybe it’s the mannequins that seem to change position from time to time, perhaps its the smell of burnt hair, or maybe it’s the secret room with the bucket full of random limbs. As I say, I just can’t tell.
Some say that late at night, when the moon is fat, you can still hear the cries coming from the back room. So if you’re set on living here, ear plugs are a must, but more importantly purchase a deep clean and a whole lot of Febreze.
So that was Skyrim’s 5 Worst Places to Live. Do you have any more to add to our tally? We’d love to hear from you.